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Dearly Departed: A Conversation with Anu Lakhan
7 years ago
Sunday, August 15, 2010
Prose poem inspired by Death cab for cutie - Someday you will be loved
I once knew a girl
In the years of my youth
With eyes like the summer
All beauty and truth
In the morning I fled
Left a note and it read
Someday you will be loved.
A petty handful of years in which we circled bad dreams that never occurred past common pretense. I met you in a far away place away from common sense and somehow, somewhere between not-looking and accidentally seeing too much of who you were not-hiding - Somehow I fell in love.
I cannot pretend that I felt any regret
Cause each broken heart will eventually mend
As the blood runs red down the needle and thread
Someday you will be loved
Dried petals still cling like memories to lies. I wonder why I never admitted nor relented. Everyone said we could not be together. But we were for eternal (invisible) moments.
You'll be loved you'll be loved
Like you never have known
The memories of me
Will seem more like bad dreams
Just a series of blurs
Like I never occurred
Someday you will be loved
I don't pretend to know who you are. Or why I like your smile so damned much. You are yourself most times. I hate the games we sometimes end up playing but I am yet to find someone that makes me feel or think like this. You are like me and not. I feel like being better because of you. Even the mean things you say make me laugh. But. You deserve someone...else, don't you?
You may feel alone when you're falling asleep
And everytime tears roll down your cheeks
But I know your heart belongs to someone you've yet to meet
Someday you will be loved
If you feel like you are holding me back, or I you then the solution is distance across oceans and then some. Physically, metaphorically, anything to forget communication and the worrying of wonder-less mundane imperfections. Wear away at the world beneath the day and you will find another salt-soaked pillow. Another significant, symbol-attached knick-knack, phrase or ideology. Air gasped out between suppressed sobs. "You are never here" is a lie that can be a glorious truth someday.
You'll be loved you'll be loved
Like you never have known
The memories of me
Will seem more like bad dreams
Just a series of blurs
Like I never occurred
Someday you will be loved
How much longer can I stay here? Passive, suppressed by gentle claws at my throat? I could escape again to a place without tears if I had the will. Still there would be traces of you. But then again that's all there ever are these days. Weeks go by and I am still refusing to see. Someday someone I love will love me, why couldn't that person be you?
If you were going to die in 24hrs what would you do?
As for myself, I could not do the one thing I wanted most -- be with you.
So what would I do?
I would spend a few hours with my family then walk out into the night as far as I could go
follow the hard familiar road
I would listen to a few songs from my favourite genres
rock, r&b, odissi, kuchipudi
I would listen to the world around me
there would be all sorts of silences depending on where I went
I would cry
softly maybe with a few tears too
I would pray
that each of us really do have souls
I would try to remember all the good times I had with everyone in my life.
you, my friends, my parents, my brother
At dawn I would turn around and start walking home
Hopefully I would make it back
And spend the last few hours alive with my family again:
We'd have time to watch at least two good movies
while enjoying a nice home-made pizza and some cooled tap-water in our favourite glasses/cups...
Could you tell me what you would do?
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